This stuff usually happens a day before the exam, and mostly outside the library........when people see each other coming to the library once in a lifetime(read the time b/w exams). Most of us come to the library just to delude themselves into thinking that they actually studied something spending n hours in the library.
So, after an hour or so spending in the library staring at the same page all the time, one thinks its time for a break..........so we get out to go to our lovely NESCAFE..........en route, we meet someone has actually studied something,...........here's how the conversation spans out.
(Nonchalance Personified meets The Condescending Topper)
Nonchalance Personified: Aur yaar tune to sab kuch padh liya hoga??(thinking) this idiot will now try to act modest
The Condescending Topper: Kaha yaar , maine to abhi tak shuru bhi nahi kiya.....(thinking) now he'll ask me to teach him once I am finished
Nonchalance Personified: (thinking) Yeah right!! shuru bhi nahi kiya......what was he doing all that time in the library?? laying eggs?
Thik hai yaar, tum log bade log ho, shuru karoge and before we know it , you will be finished with the course.....
The Condescending Topper: Kaha yaar, mera to dimag kharab ho gaya hai padh padh k..Nonchalance Personified:(thinking) Lekin fir bhi padhna band nahi karenge hum....idiot
Haan yaar pak to main bhi gaya hoon.......(the conversation gets lost into blaming the profs and the education system).......(after coming back to reality)Hey , what was the syllabus again??
The Condescending Topper:(thinking) its the 100th time that he's asked me for the syllabus......paper main syllabus nahi aayega likhne la*** , ah well on a brighter side at least he didnt ask me to teach him
Oh, that, ah yes the first 7 chapters....
Nonchalance Personified: Whoaa.... thats a lot dude.......could you help with me with the last 2 chapters??(thinking): Like I dont know the answer to that already
The Condescending Topper:(thinking) and here I thought I was spared....Yeah sure why not.
Nonchalance Personified: Thanx dude....cya later.
The Condescending Topper:Bye!!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Shallow Words
Why do you always dig deeper,
when there's nothing to find.
Stop reading between the lines,
there ain't deeper meanings behind.
Please don't stress yourself,
Spare your pretty brain the grind.
My words mean nothing at all,
they're there because they rhymed.
I do poke people with words,
as if it were a sword I wield.
But I don't hide behind them,
never use them like a shield.
It is fine if you do not understand,
let slip a pun that was intended.
But you make me wince in pain,
when you accept what wasn't presented.
If you expect mountains of ideas,
you should go look else somewhere.
Even this rhyme ain't no deep ocean,
I wrote it because I had time to spare.
It is amusing to think though,
when you find layers that don't exist.
What if I wrote my heart out?
Will you ever comprehend the gist?
when there's nothing to find.
Stop reading between the lines,
there ain't deeper meanings behind.
Please don't stress yourself,
Spare your pretty brain the grind.
My words mean nothing at all,
they're there because they rhymed.
I do poke people with words,
as if it were a sword I wield.
But I don't hide behind them,
never use them like a shield.
It is fine if you do not understand,
let slip a pun that was intended.
But you make me wince in pain,
when you accept what wasn't presented.
If you expect mountains of ideas,
you should go look else somewhere.
Even this rhyme ain't no deep ocean,
I wrote it because I had time to spare.
It is amusing to think though,
when you find layers that don't exist.
What if I wrote my heart out?
Will you ever comprehend the gist?
Saturday, October 9, 2010
A different view.
I am seated at the amphi. The hot sun scorching in the sky above. I am angry at the injustice that has been meted out to us. It is all so unfair. All the places which are sheltered from the sun have already been taken! Can life get worse? I am game for protest. But why can't we do it in the evening or the night? It has been observed that the numbers have always been better at night and more people speak up at night. Something about the darkness, maybe.
Someone is talking about the brand dilution. Yes, I scream, only in my mind though, thankfully. Yes, I say - why did we have such a huge intake for our program, why is there such an average faculty, why are we not getting the worth of what we have paid? Suddenly I come back to my senses and realise its not about this. All this has already been accepted in the smooth flowing system now. It is something more catastrophic now. Something, which I assume, must be the tipping point, the final blow, to get us so mad.
They should not use our brand, another says. This really triggers the mob. People start coming up with all possible options where the brand can be used. Someone says "They are not going to use it when they approach girls. They are not going to say they are from XYZ college. They should say they are from XYZ and ABC college." This is followed by a lot of clapping everywhere. The clap inspires a few more. "They should not be given the same food as us in mess". "They should be flogged in the basketball court!"
And then suddenly, we see a few of them walking towards their classes. We are protesting against them? These people who have finally added some much needed beauty to the campus. These people who would loiter around in the BBC making us hang out there all night, so that we can come up with ways to catch their attention. Should we not, instead, be protesting about sending them for a year to a different country? We have spent huge money getting to Ghaziabad and we deserve them for the next two looong years. And I sense the same thoughts in most of my friends. They are all looking at the enemy. The enmity just vanished! Half of my friends have mentally changed their stance on the protest already. The other half is enjoying in the hostels, and their stance does not really make a difference to the protest.
My thoughts are brought back to the scene by violent voices. People are arguing about the next step. What should the next step be? Everyone comes up with suggestions about everything, but the next step. I know whats going on here - everyone knows there is no next step. Its just about prolonging the inevitability of the situation. We have started enjoying this. We get to sleep, hang around in the amphitheatre and finally hang around in the acad block. That last part was the most fun. We caught up on cards, dumb charades, read that book we always wanted and even slept! So all in all, it was great to have a say and impact the system in a positive way.
Oh yeah, this piece cannot end without the following narration :
Near the mess, one guy is running around, cajoling, forcing, shouting at people to go on and sit in the amphitheatre.
"Come on people, everyone is waiting there. Please move to the amphitheater. Fast! It will start any second."
We run to the amphi. After the usual 15 min of annoucements and declarations, we move back to the mess. And what do we see?
The guy is still running around and shouting the above words. If thats not funny enough, he catches us and screams "Come on guys, you are still here. I told you before, move to the amphi!"
Disclaimer:- If you think everything is a joke to the writer, let me stop laughing and tell you - I am as much a part of it all as anyone. I only choose the humourous view over any other view.
Someone is talking about the brand dilution. Yes, I scream, only in my mind though, thankfully. Yes, I say - why did we have such a huge intake for our program, why is there such an average faculty, why are we not getting the worth of what we have paid? Suddenly I come back to my senses and realise its not about this. All this has already been accepted in the smooth flowing system now. It is something more catastrophic now. Something, which I assume, must be the tipping point, the final blow, to get us so mad.
They should not use our brand, another says. This really triggers the mob. People start coming up with all possible options where the brand can be used. Someone says "They are not going to use it when they approach girls. They are not going to say they are from XYZ college. They should say they are from XYZ and ABC college." This is followed by a lot of clapping everywhere. The clap inspires a few more. "They should not be given the same food as us in mess". "They should be flogged in the basketball court!"
And then suddenly, we see a few of them walking towards their classes. We are protesting against them? These people who have finally added some much needed beauty to the campus. These people who would loiter around in the BBC making us hang out there all night, so that we can come up with ways to catch their attention. Should we not, instead, be protesting about sending them for a year to a different country? We have spent huge money getting to Ghaziabad and we deserve them for the next two looong years. And I sense the same thoughts in most of my friends. They are all looking at the enemy. The enmity just vanished! Half of my friends have mentally changed their stance on the protest already. The other half is enjoying in the hostels, and their stance does not really make a difference to the protest.
My thoughts are brought back to the scene by violent voices. People are arguing about the next step. What should the next step be? Everyone comes up with suggestions about everything, but the next step. I know whats going on here - everyone knows there is no next step. Its just about prolonging the inevitability of the situation. We have started enjoying this. We get to sleep, hang around in the amphitheatre and finally hang around in the acad block. That last part was the most fun. We caught up on cards, dumb charades, read that book we always wanted and even slept! So all in all, it was great to have a say and impact the system in a positive way.
Oh yeah, this piece cannot end without the following narration :
Near the mess, one guy is running around, cajoling, forcing, shouting at people to go on and sit in the amphitheatre.
"Come on people, everyone is waiting there. Please move to the amphitheater. Fast! It will start any second."
We run to the amphi. After the usual 15 min of annoucements and declarations, we move back to the mess. And what do we see?
The guy is still running around and shouting the above words. If thats not funny enough, he catches us and screams "Come on guys, you are still here. I told you before, move to the amphi!"
Disclaimer:- If you think everything is a joke to the writer, let me stop laughing and tell you - I am as much a part of it all as anyone. I only choose the humourous view over any other view.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
The G and D of GD
They never change. Every GD - you will find them. No matter which college, no matter which course, if you been in a GD - you will identify with this piece, and maybe even identify yourself in this :P.
The Cast :
The lazy loser workex guy - Workex
The desperate fresher - Despo
The ideal profile - Profile
The silent statue - Statue
The yes man - Yessi
The speaker blaring loudly : The following students are required to collect near Alexander IMMEDIATELY. blah blah blah blah....
Workex : Oh man...ye mera naam kaise shortlist hogaya! Now I will have to empty this chair I fought so hard to get. And where the fcuk is Alexander?
Despo : I have to do it this time! I have to successfully cross the GD this time.
Profile : Ok..here we go again. One more GD. You know what to do Profile, you have to just show them you can speak some decent english. The interview is the real issue. So no sweat for now.
Statue : Silence
Finally we are at Alexander.
Workex seems bored : I know they don't want me. Why the hell have they shortlisted me? Gosh, I had a record of 0 GDs till now. They fcukin spoilt it for me.
Despo panting : Oh shit, I forgot my pen. Oh shit. (sweats and starts shaking)
Profile : This time I will ace the interview. I am tired of giving interviews now.
Statue : Voice check check check.
The topic is 'The best business'
Despo : What sector has penetrated 37% of rural market and 68% of urban market? What sector is growing at an alarming rate of 22.9% from last 2 years? I say the best business is 'Telecom business'
Workex(to himself) : What the fcuk is he blabbering? Are these numbers true? Man...such a despo.
Yessi : As my friend Despo rightly pointed out, Telecom is the most promising business in the current scenario.
Statue : gulp
Profile : I am here.
Here, I will retract and add a few more important facts. Generally, there are 2-3 Despos, 1 Workex (rarely), 1-2 Profiles,1-2 Statues and 1 Yessi.
So it is actually a verbal feud between the despos with the Yessi coming after every single voice raised with a Yes Yes.
Despo2 : I completely disagree. Education sector had a revenue growth of 34% last year. Education is an ever increasing need and an insatiable demand.
Workex (to himself, again) : Insatiable? God! That should only be used with demand if there is one word in between! 'Sex'!
Yessi : My friend Despo2 has rightly brought our attention to Education sector. I agree this is one big idea we should consider.
Statue : gulp
Profile : I am here.
Workex (finally, not to himself): Shouldn't we be thinking about businesses which are practical to start, low capital intensive and easier to exit?
Yessi : My friend Workex has brought out a very relevant point. We should discuss in this direction.
And it goes on and on....
After the gd,
Despo and Despo2 staring at each other like war enemies, who think the GD should have allowed the use of knives and guns.
Yessi telling himself he dominated the GD and he was sure to be called for the interview.
Statue promising himself that someday he is going to speak up for himself and the world is gonna bow to him.
Workex is already worried about finding another empty chair near Nescafe, and sometimes even praying that the shortlist is out soon so that he can go to the room and enjoy college life for all it is worth!
Profile scrams to the lab or the library and starts cramming for the nth interview of his life.
Disclaimer :- If any character resembled you (the reader), I am happy you know yourself. If you think you don't fit into any of these, think again.
On a serious note :- There is no perfect personality for a GD or an interview, for that matter. Don't drive yourself crazy analysing what went wrong. And please don't ever make the mistake of judging yourself, by these processes. This is just the first step. It doesn't prove anything, but now that I think about it, nothing proves anything!
The Cast :
The lazy loser workex guy - Workex
The desperate fresher - Despo
The ideal profile - Profile
The silent statue - Statue
The yes man - Yessi
The speaker blaring loudly : The following students are required to collect near Alexander IMMEDIATELY. blah blah blah blah....
Workex : Oh man...ye mera naam kaise shortlist hogaya! Now I will have to empty this chair I fought so hard to get. And where the fcuk is Alexander?
Despo : I have to do it this time! I have to successfully cross the GD this time.
Profile : Ok..here we go again. One more GD. You know what to do Profile, you have to just show them you can speak some decent english. The interview is the real issue. So no sweat for now.
Statue : Silence
Finally we are at Alexander.
Workex seems bored : I know they don't want me. Why the hell have they shortlisted me? Gosh, I had a record of 0 GDs till now. They fcukin spoilt it for me.
Despo panting : Oh shit, I forgot my pen. Oh shit. (sweats and starts shaking)
Profile : This time I will ace the interview. I am tired of giving interviews now.
Statue : Voice check check check.
The topic is 'The best business'
Despo : What sector has penetrated 37% of rural market and 68% of urban market? What sector is growing at an alarming rate of 22.9% from last 2 years? I say the best business is 'Telecom business'
Workex(to himself) : What the fcuk is he blabbering? Are these numbers true? Man...such a despo.
Yessi : As my friend Despo rightly pointed out, Telecom is the most promising business in the current scenario.
Statue : gulp
Profile : I am here.
Here, I will retract and add a few more important facts. Generally, there are 2-3 Despos, 1 Workex (rarely)
So it is actually a verbal feud between the despos with the Yessi coming after every single voice raised with a Yes Yes.
Despo2 : I completely disagree. Education sector had a revenue growth of 34% last year. Education is an ever increasing need and an insatiable demand.
Workex (to himself, again) : Insatiable? God! That should only be used with demand if there is one word in between! 'Sex'!
Yessi : My friend Despo2 has rightly brought our attention to Education sector. I agree this is one big idea we should consider.
Statue : gulp
Profile : I am here.
Workex (finally, not to himself)
Yessi : My friend Workex has brought out a very relevant point. We should discuss in this direction.
And it goes on and on....
After the gd,
Despo and Despo2 staring at each other like war enemies, who think the GD should have allowed the use of knives and guns.
Yessi telling himself he dominated the GD and he was sure to be called for the interview.
Statue promising himself that someday he is going to speak up for himself and the world is gonna bow to him.
Workex is already worried about finding another empty chair near Nescafe, and sometimes even praying that the shortlist is out soon so that he can go to the room and enjoy college life for all it is worth!
Profile scrams to the lab or the library and starts cramming for the nth interview of his life.
Disclaimer :- If any character resembled you (the reader), I am happy you know yourself. If you think you don't fit into any of these, think again.
On a serious note :- There is no perfect personality for a GD or an interview, for that matter. Don't drive yourself crazy analysing what went wrong. And please don't ever make the mistake of judging yourself, by these processes. This is just the first step. It doesn't prove anything, but now that I think about it, nothing proves anything!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Let's Start "B-logging"
Hello everyone,
Its been quite a while since I've been planning this, ever since "Rambler" set the ball rolling and this morning I saw a " Parambler" too. 19th September ,I sent the group an email inviting suggestions for the name of this blog, very few noticed , even fewer replied. Then I thought, the best shot at this blog would be to bring it to reality, may be then the people will take heed and realize what a grand success it could be. Almost everyone in our class has a blog (thats a valid presumption i think), I want this blog to be a common platform for each one of us, All 60 odd of us will be authors for this blog. I am sure there many more Poets, Bloggers, Writers amongst us.The only thing a blogger wants is audience, and what better audience than our own friends. Even if you don't write, everyone loves reading(that again, is a presumption :D ).
Another thing I want to add is that language wont be a barrier at this blog, write anything and everything you want, in any language you want, as long as it does not cross any lines( no abusive language please).Also,I would love suggestions for the blog's title(the blog's address unfortunately now cannot be changed).
I wont bore you with any more globals. Anyone who wants to write at this blog please drop me your e-mail address at itsashok89@gmail.com , I will send you an invite for being an author here.
Let's Start "B-logging"
P.S: A big thanks to "Rambler", who inspired me to this idea.
I would also like to thank the following people for their suggestions
Its been quite a while since I've been planning this, ever since "Rambler" set the ball rolling and this morning I saw a " Parambler" too. 19th September ,I sent the group an email inviting suggestions for the name of this blog, very few noticed , even fewer replied. Then I thought, the best shot at this blog would be to bring it to reality, may be then the people will take heed and realize what a grand success it could be. Almost everyone in our class has a blog (thats a valid presumption i think), I want this blog to be a common platform for each one of us, All 60 odd of us will be authors for this blog. I am sure there many more Poets, Bloggers, Writers amongst us.The only thing a blogger wants is audience, and what better audience than our own friends. Even if you don't write, everyone loves reading(that again, is a presumption :D ).
Another thing I want to add is that language wont be a barrier at this blog, write anything and everything you want, in any language you want, as long as it does not cross any lines( no abusive language please).Also,I would love suggestions for the blog's title(the blog's address unfortunately now cannot be changed).
I wont bore you with any more globals. Anyone who wants to write at this blog please drop me your e-mail address at itsashok89@gmail.com , I will send you an invite for being an author here.
Let's Start "B-logging"
P.S: A big thanks to "Rambler", who inspired me to this idea.
I would also like to thank the following people for their suggestions
- Areeb Ahmed
- Dileep Bajaj
- Atishay Kumar Jain
- Arjun Budhraja(the address was his idea, b'log wasnt available unfortunately)
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