The Cast :
The lazy loser workex guy - Workex
The desperate fresher - Despo
The ideal profile - Profile
The silent statue - Statue
The yes man - Yessi
The speaker blaring loudly : The following students are required to collect near Alexander IMMEDIATELY. blah blah blah blah....
Workex : Oh man...ye mera naam kaise shortlist hogaya! Now I will have to empty this chair I fought so hard to get. And where the fcuk is Alexander?
Despo : I have to do it this time! I have to successfully cross the GD this time.
Profile : Ok..here we go again. One more GD. You know what to do Profile, you have to just show them you can speak some decent english. The interview is the real issue. So no sweat for now.
Statue : Silence
Finally we are at Alexander.
Workex seems bored : I know they don't want me. Why the hell have they shortlisted me? Gosh, I had a record of 0 GDs till now. They fcukin spoilt it for me.
Despo panting : Oh shit, I forgot my pen. Oh shit. (sweats and starts shaking)
Profile : This time I will ace the interview. I am tired of giving interviews now.
Statue : Voice check check check.
The topic is 'The best business'
Despo : What sector has penetrated 37% of rural market and 68% of urban market? What sector is growing at an alarming rate of 22.9% from last 2 years? I say the best business is 'Telecom business'
Workex(to himself) : What the fcuk is he blabbering? Are these numbers true? Man...such a despo.
Yessi : As my friend Despo rightly pointed out, Telecom is the most promising business in the current scenario.
Statue : gulp
Profile : I am here.
Here, I will retract and add a few more important facts. Generally, there are 2-3 Despos, 1 Workex (rarely)
So it is actually a verbal feud between the despos with the Yessi coming after every single voice raised with a Yes Yes.
Despo2 : I completely disagree. Education sector had a revenue growth of 34% last year. Education is an ever increasing need and an insatiable demand.
Workex (to himself, again) : Insatiable? God! That should only be used with demand if there is one word in between! 'Sex'!
Yessi : My friend Despo2 has rightly brought our attention to Education sector. I agree this is one big idea we should consider.
Statue : gulp
Profile : I am here.
Workex (finally, not to himself)
Yessi : My friend Workex has brought out a very relevant point. We should discuss in this direction.
And it goes on and on....
After the gd,
Despo and Despo2 staring at each other like war enemies, who think the GD should have allowed the use of knives and guns.
Yessi telling himself he dominated the GD and he was sure to be called for the interview.
Statue promising himself that someday he is going to speak up for himself and the world is gonna bow to him.
Workex is already worried about finding another empty chair near Nescafe, and sometimes even praying that the shortlist is out soon so that he can go to the room and enjoy college life for all it is worth!
Profile scrams to the lab or the library and starts cramming for the nth interview of his life.
Disclaimer :- If any character resembled you (the reader), I am happy you know yourself. If you think you don't fit into any of these, think again.
On a serious note :- There is no perfect personality for a GD or an interview, for that matter. Don't drive yourself crazy analysing what went wrong. And please don't ever make the mistake of judging yourself, by these processes. This is just the first step. It doesn't prove anything, but now that I think about it, nothing proves anything!
